Mixed Matched
by Archer Ed
Summary: Mello has a nightmare that makes him realize he wants a lot more in a relationship than what Matt can offer him. He takes his sexual frustration out elsewhere at the cost of Matt's broken heart, forcing the redhead to make some hard choices of his own.


_Mixed Matched_

**Written by:** Archer Ed

**Beta'd by:** EmoRoy and xXPuffinXx

**Fandom:** _Death Note_

**Pairing:** Mello/Matt

**Rating:** M

**Warnings:** Slash, implied male/male sex, het, implied past self harm, dirty language, BDSM, and various other kinks

**Author's note: **First time writing for this fandom. Hopefully you all like it. Special thanks to my betas. You guys are fantastic. I couldn't have done it without you.

.x.

Mello stood on the moonlit beach watching the calm, dark water that stretched on endlessly. He felt the sand between his toes as a cool breeze tousled his feminine blond locks.

He could think of nowhere else that he would rather be then where he was now, basking in the sunlight, wrapped only in the designer sheets from the bed in his summer home.

This night was perfect.

Suddenly a familiar voice called to him. Mello turned, gasping in shock. There _he_ stood, Mello's knight in shining armor clad in an open white shirt revealing his perfect chest and black capri pants that may or may not be for women.

This god of men approached Mello bearing a dozen red roses. He crumpled some of the delicate flowers and lined the beach with their magnificent petals. Mello couldn't bear it any more, even though he couldn't make out the face of this mysterious red haired Fabio due to the sun being in his eyes, he wanted him to take him right there on the beach with the moon as their only light.

Just as there was about to be the perfect end for the perfect day, Mello was forced awake from the sound of a shrill, yet horribly familiar whine.

"Mello! Are you dreaming of other men again? Am I not the only lover that you need?"

Mello opened his eyes to see Matt hovered over him, and he groaned. This was his reality.

Matt smiled his fan-girl decimating smile when his too beautiful for words lover awoke from what appeared to be a wet dream. Matt giggled when he noticed Mello's aroused privates as he hopped off the drowsy man below him.

He'd been beyond boredom as he waited for Mello to wake up. Unbeknownst to the blond, Matt had deviously changed the alarm so it would go off an hour early. Usually it was Mello playing the part of the awaker (a couple of times he had been playing a flute like instrument called a Pungi... it still flew right over Matt's head). It pleased him to finally be the one to be doing the waking.

"Make me breakfast," he demanded, picking up his DS, playing the latest version of Professor Layton. He heard Mello groan and roll back over. Pouting, Matt tilted his head so he could be better heard. "Breakfast!" Mello groaned louder, but this time he obeyed.

Matt didn't have the slightest clue what was on the docket for the day. He figured Mello would be out the door after breakfast (although they would have an extra hour to kill) to do mafia business while Matt played Call of Duty all day.

A sour look crossed his face as he thought of the dirty things Mello told him he had had to 'perform' to get into the mafia. A bout of jealously washed over his cheerful demeanor. But then Matt chuckled inwardly at the fact that Mello had lowered himself to sexual acts since he was hardly manly enough to get into the mafia any other way.

Officially blue-balled, Mello got up to cook up his special someone a special breakfast that was from his special and super secret family recipe. A recipe that had been passed down from his great great grandma, to his great aunt, to his second cousin twice removed's best friend, then finally passed on to him. Clearly Matt was in for a great treat.

"Lucky Charms?" Matt frowned, when he finally stopped battling Layton's super tricky puzzles long enough to come down stairs and face his breakfast. "What, no pancakes or eggs and bacon made to look like a smiley face?"

"This isn't Sonic's, _dog_," Mello spat, disgusted for no other reason than the fact he just noticed his nail polish was scratching off. He flicked the remaining black varnish from his thumb nail into Matt's marshmellowy cereal before getting up to go take a relaxing bubble bath.

Nothing got him more pumped for a day of Mafia shenanigans than bath balms and dimly lit bathroom candles.

Matt, however, relished in the sight before him. Not only were his Lucky Charms soggy, now they had an unwanted garnish.

He ate them anyway.

Meanwhile, Mello had just finished stripping off his leather pajama set which he had received as a gift from his good friend, Hal. She always knew how to treat him just right. His lavender bath balms were from her as well. He ran the water warm and poured in the bubble formula and sat on the edge of the cold bathtub, completely naked, watching like a child as the bubbles began to rise as the water and formula mixed. It was magical.

Matt made his way upstairs, his ungrateful stomach still hungry. It rumbled noisily, announcing his presence outside of the bathroom door, over the roaring waters of the bathtub. Mello was in his usual spot, watching the bubbles be created. Matt grinned and found Mello's favorite bathroom toy left carelessly on the bathroom counter.

"You forgot Mr. Ducky," Matt laughed as the naked Mello jumped up, embarrassed to be caught off-guard like that. "May I join you, or is there only enough bubble mix for one lady today?"

Mello looked disgusted at himself for forgetting Mr. Ducky. He got up, stark naked and unashamed, grabbing the plastic duck that was oh-so near and dear to his heart. "I thought you hated the water."

Matt looked down in deep shame. Sure, he had Aquaphobia that had him too spooked to even be in the same room as a running faucet, but... that disorder was downright mild compared to some of his other phobia.

"Come on, Mello..." he sighed dramatically. "You know my Automysophobia is far worse than my Aquaphobia. Now are you going to let me in or what?"

Mello considered it, eying Mr. Ducky. "Will your Orinthophobia bother you if I let you in with us?"

"Mr. Ducky hardly counts as a bird, Mello. Please? I need your help to wash behind my ears."

"Like most dogs do," Mello said, nonchalantly. He just couldn't understand Matt's deathly fear of the condensation of water on the side of a water bottle, but could fully immerse himself in a lavender bubble bath with him. Sighing, he signaled for Matt to join him in the bubbly paradise.

Matt nearly squealed for being allowed to bathe with his master. He so longed for these moments of pure bliss. He quickly lost his clothing and splashed into the water, blowing bubbles at Mello, who still stood outside of the tub.

"Please." Mello rolled his eyes, as if he hadn't already thought of blowing bubbles. Matt had only stolen his idea. Typical. "Get out of the way, you know it's tough to get us to both fit in here." He motioned for Matt to scoot. Matt stood up, the bubbles only coming up to his knees. Mello couldn't help but ogle in the sight before him.

Mello couldn't quite enjoy his luxurious bath, but if that was due to the fact that he was bathing with an animal or because of his dream was unclear.

However, Matt in all his disordered glory was like a beautiful disaster. The sight of him deeply scrubbing his arms to the point of bleeding and then flailing them in panic as he noticed they were wet was almost endearing to Mello. It melted his icy heart and his face, normally frozen in an unimpressed look of loathing, softened into a smile.

He was about to whisper sweet nothings to his high maintenance lover when the feeling passed as it started to storm and Matt bolted from the tub to hide in the nearest closet.

His Astrapophobic fit pushed Mello over the edge.

Mello dealt with Matt only owning one seriously unfashionable outfit for his whole life, he dealt with his need to wear goggles to hide his face in shame, he dealt with him being less social than a rock, and he dealt with only really knowing about Matt the fact that he liked video games and disliked being outside... But as of recently, Mello was starting to think he just wanted a normal life.

It wasn't always bad, like Mello could get rid of a lot of his stress using Matt's masochism, but was the occasional blissful moment of kicking in the teeth of the person he fancied most really worth putting up with some of this ridiculous shit? Mello sank down into his lavender scented bath and blew bubbles angrily as he took a moment to rethink his life as his boyfriend cowered in the corner of their closet weeping like a school girl.

The storm passed and so did the day. Mello had long since pulled himself from his bath time with Mr. Ducky and had gone to 'work'. Matt had cried himself to sleep in the closet and had slept the whole day/storm away. That's how a less-than-impressed Mello found him when he returned from the ever intimidating mafia headquarters.

The discontent tapped his foot in annoyance. The fire engine redhead didn't awake so there was no chance that his evergreen eyes could get Mello to soften. Why did he even keep the Christmas colored boy around? Sure the sex was above average and Matt was good at the tasks Mello assigned him. Wait, back up. _If_ Matt even remembered what Mello had asked him to do (which was a big if), he was good at it. But that was only 42% of the time. He didn't exactly have a winning average going in his favor.

Mello decided it wasn't worth waking the poor kid up. He would have to deal with Matt whining about his still semi-wet hair and how hungry he was, and Lord knew there was no way Mello was pouring more than one bowl of Lucky Charms a day, even for Matt.

He was honestly starting to think that enough was enough. Matt wasn't doing his job, or satisfying his needs. Maybe he'd have to try and get satisfied elsewhere.

Knowing Matt was still asleep, he called one of his "friends" from the Mafia. The dial tone seemed to go on forever, before he finally picked up.

"Whazzup?" boomed the voice on the other end.

"Milton," Mello greeted in a hushed tone. "It's... it's me."

"Mello?" the gangster guessed. "What you want, dawg?"

"I was just wondering..." he trailed off awkwardly, twisting his blond hair around a gloved finger. "...if you'd like to... come over." He said it as saucy as he could muster, and Milton instantly took the hint.

A few hours later, Matt finally stirred. He rubbed his head, and frowned at his still growling stomach. Wondering if maybe Mello would take pity on him and pour him another delicious treat, Matt snuck out of the closet with the intent to beg the blond for some food.

What he didn't expect to see was adultery.

There, on their prized, yak-fur couch, Mello was on the lap of another man- ruthlessly snogging him, even!

Matt's heart felt like it was exploding in his chest. The pain was unreal. How could this be? Why would his one true love betray him in a cruel manner such as this?

He couldn't bring himself to interrupt them. The man under Mello looked like a total G. Even a fool would know that his ass would be grass if he tried to tell that hoodlum that he was touching what was his.

With tear filled emerald eyes, Matt dejectedly headed back to the closet to cry out all his frustrations and hurt.

After Mello satisfied his curiosity, he discovered that he loved submitting himself while still calling the shots. Sadly though, his make out session with Milton wasn't fulfilling the desires his dream had awakened in him. He craved something more as he allowed himself to be fondled by the burly, inappropriately named man.

Maybe he wasn't enjoying Milton's tongue in his mouth to the extent that he thought he would out of guilt for his selfish, annoying boyfriend? Or maybe it was something more scandalous.

Whatever it was, the snogging came to an end as Milton received a phone call from the boss, Rod, Mello's main squeeze in the mafia. Not wanting Rod to ever find out about this booty call, Milton quickly dismissed himself.

Mello flopped on his ugly couch and stared at the yak fur with a sinking empty feeling. Just as he was mentally swearing to himself that he would never speak a word of this to Matt, the fire truck haired boy dejectedly walked up to the couch unable to look into Mello's piercing eyes.

"W-w-what's going on, chocolate bear?" Matt managed to choke out.

"Nothing baby!" Mello cried in a suspicious tone.

"S-so you m-making out with some thug on our special couch is nothing?" Matt yelled, trying as hard as he could to hold back tears. "I may only be ranked number three at Wammy's... but even I can tell when I'm not wanted anymore, you tart!"

Mello gasped.

"You're tearing me apart, Mello!" Matt screamed at the ceiling, now crying like a baby.

Mello, appalled by this sissy display, screamed back, "Well maybe if you weren't such a selfish lover, I wouldn't have strayed!"

Matt gasped.

"You always had to be the catcher in bed because of your sketchy childhood that you spent in a crate in Cuba... and I was sensitive to that for awhile. But recently I've discovered that I want to be dominated sometimes too! I mean, come on, have you seen how I dress? I tell everyone that's it's badass BDSM gear, but really I just dress like this because I want everyone to know just how much of a lady I am! Why can everyone see that but you, Matt?" Mello choked out crying into his hands.

"Because _I _want to be that lady! I just have a phobia of changing my clothes!" Matt shouted in retort. Then it dawned on him. "Wait... A-are you s-saying that you want me...me to be seme?" Matt's voice cracked as he uttered the horrific words. "To..._top_...you?" He just couldn't wrap his fragile mind around it.

"Whatever you want to call it, Matt!" Mello burst out, yelling some more at his horrified lover. "Call it what you want, but I just want to be the girl sometimes!" His voice strained with need and desperation.

Matt felt anger rise in his chest. How could he ask something like that? How could he _want_ something like THAT?

"Is that why you called up Milton?" Matt whined, remembering the mafia man from when they had dabbled in a threesome a couple of months before.

"Milton is none of your concern!" Mello defended angrily. As much as he knew he was in the wrong, he couldn't let Matt know. Not now, not when they were fighting so hard. If he let Matt know he felt horrible about his actions, Matt would have the upper hand and Mello would be the one thrusting tonight.

"Then you don't mind if I called up Sergio? I haven't had his sweet cock in my mouth for awhile!" Matt countered, smirking only slightly when Mello cringed. It tore his heart to have to do this to his darling Mello. He knew that once this was all over he would be drinking from the dog bowl again. But for now, he would pretend he was the badass his canon self wished he could be.

"Is that the best you can come up with?" sneered Mello. "Sergio? Really? You told me he was too hairy for his own good."

"Then Nick or Philip or Vincenzo! I'll take them all, Mello! I'd even call... I'd call Near!" Matt cried, tears streaking down his face. It was a good thing he wasn't looking into a mirror or else he probably would have started hyperventilating at the sight of the water.

Mello was silent for a moment and Matt thought he had won. After all, Near was the arch-enemy. He was the forbidden prize. And while Matt was only sort of attracted to his shiny silver/white hair, he knew Mello couldn't stand it.

Finally, after a few minutes, Mello smiled and locked eyes with Matt.

"I'll call Hal."

Matt gasped.

Mello was... Mello was going to call a WOMAN? A woman! He was a gay man! They were both gay men! And he was going to go get a booty call from a creature with a vagina? A va-jay-jay that would swallow his penis whole- like a dark, moist cave! How could this possibly be? Low blow! Low blow!

"Y-you're not s-s-s-s-s-serious," Matt stuttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "There's no way you would really... c-c-call her..."

Mello pulled out his phone.

"You wouldn't!"

Mello slowly pressed one button, then put it on speaker phone. Hal was on speed dial! Speed dial, even!

Before the busty femme fatale had time to pick up the phone, Matt had rushed out of the living room to head up to his own room, slamming the door and thrusting himself onto his race car bed, sobbing onto his pillow. His heart was officially broken into seventeen billion and a half pieces, lying at the bottom of his rib cage. His life was over.

He reached out a shaky hand to try and grab his razor blade off his vanity, but then realized cutting himself never got him anywhere, what with his Hemophobia. Plus, Mello got rid of his trusty box cutter, leaving him with only a Gillette Venus Spa Breeze 2 in 1 razor he stole from Mello. It never left a scratch on Mello's silky smooth legs, let alone a gash on Matt's wrist, so it would do him no good.

When he finally stopped hiccuping from his long sob-fest, he emerged from the bedroom to see that Mello was gone.

The pieces of his broken heart broke into even more pieces. Pieces sharp enough to cut him, but too small to matter.

Right now, Mello was no doubt plowing into Hal's damp, deep vagoo with mighty thrusts, grunting above her with sweaty skin and a determined face, as Hal no doubt shuddered below him. That... that whore. Matt wanted to BE that whore!

It made Matt want to throw up.

Meanwhile, at Hal's apartment, Mello was sobbing into the blonde woman's chest, which was only covered with a towel as she had just gotten out of the shower. Mello had to hand it to her- the girl loved to bathe.

"H-he just doesn't understand!" Mello bawled.

"He's a man, hon, of course he doesn't understand! That pig." Hal soothed softly, petting Mello's hair. "Tell you what. I've got some emergency chocolate ice cream in the freezer. Let's just eat it. Let's just eat the whole tub. We won't even care. We'll watch a romantic comedy until I get your smile back!"

"Thanks Hal," Mello said, looking up at Hal with tears streaked down his pale cheeks. "You're the greatest. Let's watch "Shallow Hal"."

Matt sat in his bed for a good 4.78 seconds before he couldn't take the loneliness. Leave it to Mello to use a woman's razor that wouldn't help enable Matt's unstoppable need to be hurt. Perhaps... perhaps he really did wear those gorgeous leather pants and sexy belly shirt because he longed to be accepted as feminine. No, no! It just couldn't be true. Right this moment he was banging a smoking hot fox! Without a care as to what Matt might be feeling. One minute he was a gay man, the next he was a straight douchebag, getting all the pussy he wanted!

Admitting defeat, Matt put on his spiked dog collar and leather leash and walked himself to the water bowl, careful not to spill any water on the newspaper. (It amazed Mello that Matt could drink out of the the bowl of water without so much as batting a gorgeous long eyelash... Matt was a contradiction.)

Meanwhile, Mello was gorging himself with double chocolate ice cream with a beautiful woman who was half naked, save for her Kira towel. She had turned it inside out when she saw Mello arrive. She didn't need another anti-Kira speech from the blond(e) man/woman next to her. She would get into Kira's pants one way or another... One way... or another.

The movie wrapped up and Mello was still not ready to face the music.

"We're having a sleepover, right Hal?" Mello smiled delightfully at his female counterpart (how he envied her).

"I'm afraid not, darling. Busy with work and all," she said absent-mindedly, still perfecting her plan to seduce Kira. Why else would she be helping the paralyzed toy-loving boy?

"You're always working..." he replied sadly, downing one last spoonful of ice cream before standing up.

"Mmhmm."

"Night Hal," Mello finally sighed, knowing when he wasn't wanted anymore.

Before Mello could arrive at the flat, Matt had decided to exact his revenge. The collar and leash were thrown off and tossed to the corner as he poured all of Mello's lavender bath scents down the sink. He threw a majority (but not all since he wanted to keep his manhood once Mello got home) of Mello's precious chocolate into the microwave and started it for 3:00. Melted chocolate was one of Mello's pet peeves.

He slashed his favorite plush pillow and even peed in the toilet and didn't flush! Oh, Mello would have several wonderful surprises to come home to.

If he in fact did come home after indulging himself in the pleasures a woman had to offer him. Secretly Matt wondered which one of them had been on top...

Mello was flabbergasted at the sight of the apartment when he finally arrived home. His kitchen smelled like burnt chocolate, his lavender bath scent bottles were lying empty on the sink counter, and... what was that ghastly smell emerging from the bathroom? And was the seat still up? Oh hell no!

Mello could see red. He wanted to beat the redhead's ass, but he might enjoy it too much!

Cracking his knuckles, Mello hunted Matt down, finding him cowering in the closet which was proving to be his favorite hiding place.

"Hello, love," Mello said icily.

Matt choked on nothing.

The blond sneered and pulled Matt out of the closet by the scruff of his neck. "When I first saw what you had done, I had half a mind to choke you with your own leash."

Matt's face flushed, and his boner didn't go unnoticed by Mello.

"But then I realized you'd just like it. So instead, I decided I'd do... this!"

He tossed Matt outside the apartment door. "Get out, Matt. I'll be sealing up the dog door here shortly, so don't think you can sneak back in after this."

"You can't do this!" Matt protested, feeling the fear chill up his spine, leaving his body littered with goosebumps. "You're the one who cheated! Why am I the one getting thrown out?"

"Because, _dog,_ I make the rules. I pay the bills. I wear the pants."

"You said you didn't want to wear the pants anymore!"

"I changed my mind," was the dark reply. "You don't know what can make me happy. You only think about you and your needs and your phobias and your disorders and your kinks. What do you really know about mine? If it wasn't for the fact that I'm a beautiful sadist, you wouldn't even love me. Is that all that matters to you?"

"But..." Matt whispered, eyes gone wide. "What else is there?"

Mello could have punched him. "That's what you need to figure out for yourself, and pray to any God that exists that I'll be merciful enough to take you back."

Matt would have cried if he hadn't been so horny in that very moment. Mello didn't give him time to redeem himself before chucking his DS at his head and slamming the door.

It seemed like Matt had a lot of self reflection he'd have to accomplish...

Kicking Matt out had been one thing. But now Mello had to perform damage control. First things first, the toilet NEEDED to be flushed. That was appalling. Once that abomination had been completed, he moved onto pushing the kitchen table in front of the doggy door. No surprise, unwanted redheads tonight.

He went about scrubbing the microwave out and dumping the destroyed chocolate into the trash. The whole downstairs stunk. After all that hard work, he needed to take a nap and think about everything that had happened. He had kicked out his lover, his friend. No matter how angry he was, he couldn't believe he had really done it. Just as he was starting to regret his decision (as he thought about how chilly it would be sleeping alone), he remembered his bath soaps!

Did Matt realize what sort of favors were required to obtain those lavender beauties? Those weren't your ordinary bath soaps that you got at Wal-Mart or Big Lots! Those were authentic Indian bath soaps! Hal went through a lot to get those. It made him even more livid because he knew that Matt knew what she had endured for them. The bastard.

Mello had to smile at himself though. Getting into a tizzy over soap. He really was a lady.

"What else is there? Pfft." Mello said aloud to the empty bathroom. "Bath scents, Matty, bath scents."

Matt sat in front of the door outside crying in the snow. Matt had nothing to fear of the liquid evil coming from his eyes as it quickly froze to his cheeks. As Matt rubbed his freezing freckled face, he had an epiphany.

"This is making my face cold... Crying... is for sissies."

He promptly wiped the frozen tears and his freckles right off his face. His eyes turned as blue as his frozen soul and his hair turned into a more logical shade. Matt felt manlier than he ever had in his life. Even manlier than when he rowed to England in a Cuban crate. He used his newfound man powers and wolf whistled at a woman who walked by looking like she was straight out of the Jersey shore. She immediately fainted in ecstasy. Matt was almost in awe of how he suddenly stopped being a complete fuck-bucket.

Well, he would have been in awe if he was the old Matty; the new Matt wasn't surprised at all by how awesome he was. It was like he was Peter Parker and he just got bit by a radioactive spider filled with testosterone.

Matt stood up like the boss he had become and promptly round house kicked the front door open.

"Hey woman!" he yelled.

Mello felt his heart skip a beat while enjoying his bath scentless bath. The scent suddenly didn't matter. Nothing did.

Matt pounded up the stairs in his boots (as compared to the sneakers he had previously worn when he was so mercilessly thrown to the curb). A new resolve swelled in his chest and he had to expend the newfound energy somehow.

Mello was silent as he listened with bated breath, his heart thumping wildly out of control.

"I said _hey woman_! Bitch, I know you ain't disrespecting me." Matt called again, nearing the bathroom door which was slightly ajar. He threw it open and stared down at Mello, naked in the tub. Mello couldn't help but notice how much taller he seemed...

"You. Out. Now." Matt demanded, an evil grin spread across his face. He tapped his foot for a badass effect. Feeling a sense of pride, he even turned on the faucet and watched as the mighty stream of water poured down into the sink. He didn't even bat an eyelash.

Mello hesitantly, yet eagerly stood up, his arousal apparent.

"Bedroom. Now." Matt breathed, his hard eyes pierced the very essence of the blond and he could see Mello visibly quake in the spot where he stood.

Mello's legs failed him and he almost fainted, but like a badass borderline hipster Prince Charming, Matt swooped in and caught Mello, lifting him up bridal style.

"Never mind, bitch, shiiiit. You can't do anything right. You're lucky I like hot-ass blondes that don't wear panties."

He pranced with Mello to the bedroom and tossed him on the bed, throwing off the new clothes he grew. (Not a stripe in sight! Thank God. His new self realized he hated those God-awful rainbow striped toe socks he had been wearing under his sneakers!)

"Oh Matt," Mello moaned. "How do you want me?"

"I dunno. I'm torn between you being on your hands and knees or on your back."

"On my back, please," Mello said, eyes welling with unshed tears. "I want to see the man you have become."

"Well get a good gander, because I'm only getting hotter," Matt said, crawling on top of Mello eagerly. "But shut your pie hole, though, before I stuff it for you." He paused for dramatic effect before adding, "With my cock." As if it wasn't obvious what his innuendo was implying.

But he was _Matt_. He didn't care whether or not they were all gems. He didn't need them to be.

Spreading Mello's legs apart with the swiftness of all the gazelles of the Amazon rain forest, Matt rode Mello like he had a season pass to Cedar Point.

Outside, lots of rain was pouring down with harsh thunder and bright lightening in its midst. Matt no longer feared such trivial bullshit, though. Sure, it was kind of odd that it was raining and snowing at the same time, but it was only fitting that his phobias should all be cleared as he emerged from his sad-sack shell of a lady and became this "new him", like an icy phoenix rising from the rain and the snow at once to grace the world with his embodiment of pure epic win.

He felt like a new man! A better man! He didn't know what he wanted to do next as soon as he was done fucking Mello's brains out. Should he turn on all the faucets in the house? Should he tell Mello to get back to the kitchen and make him a sammich? There were too many options, too little time!

Matt clapped and the lightning stopped.

"Man, that was annoying. I'm trying to think," muttered Matt. He was just about to finish rocking Mello's world when the fine ass blond interrupted him.

"Matt, can I ask you a favor? Please?" Mello sighed in ecstasy.

"You know I don't like interruptions when I'm hittin' a ho," Matt sighed.

"It's just that.. Will you take off your goggles for me?" Mello pleaded.

Matt rolled his eyes, "Whatever gets you hot, bitch."

Matt flung his goggles off like a manly man and turned Mello's face to look down at his eyes. Matt's face intently gazing into Mello's eyes was too much for him and he came. Twice.

"B-beautiful... you're so, so b-beautiful..." Mello breathed.

"Yeah, bitches don't know 'bout my eyes, hey you think you could make me a sandwich when I'm done here?" Matt responded.

The sweet nothings Matt uttered made Mello cum again.

"They're like looking up into the sky." Mello said kissing Matt's forehead. Matt lit a cigarette as he finished on Mello's good sheets.

"Yeah, back when I was a totally unlikable sissy, I had those damn sparkly princess lime green eyes. Shit wasn't natural. Every time I looked in the mirror I felt like I was looking at the grand fairy king of ever morrow. And get this, my freaking eyelashes were so long, they made a noise when I blinked. A fucking noise, Mello! Damn, I do not miss that."

Matt fanned his hands up and down in front of his eyes to get his point across and Mello giggled at his silliness. Matt smirked and took a drag on his cigarette.

"Hearing you open up to me like this really makes my nipples hard, Matt." Mello cooed.

"Yeah thanks bitch, anyway," Matt continued, "seriously, I looked like I had the over sized eyes of a panda bear. Shit was scary. Back then I passed off as a chick, so it was okay, but now that I'm like a man it would have been weird."

Mello looked at the man laying next to him with a look of satisfaction and self importance on his face. He replayed in his head all of the conversation they had after Matt underwent his transformation from a pupa to a butterfly and suddenly had a realization.

"It was _you_, Matt."

"What you want, girl?" Matt said half listening.

"The person I've been searching for in my dreams," Mello went on, "the man in my dreams is you."

"Hey, alright." Matt said, rolling over. "Hey are your legs tired? 'Cause you been runnin' through my mind all day too."

Mello didn't care that he took his confession as a bad pick up line, because this discovery was important to him and that's all that mattered.

"By the way Matt, don't you think people in homosexual relationships should take turns being dominant in bed?" Mello queried.

"Yeah, people don't become different people based on who pitches or catches. Shit's ridiculous."

"Your wisdom makes my panties wet." Mello said with his classic sauciness.

"I don't see why it wouldn't," Matt said. "I'm good at everything I do."

_Fin._


End file.
